You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
