I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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