you win again, gameday.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
