my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize