i don't plan on having that self control this summer
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
