i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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