I think i peed on brittanys purse
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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