we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
