Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
