Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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