It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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