Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
