You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
