White coat. Heels.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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