Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize