Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
