Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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