i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
