I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
