I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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