You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Is Oprah even human
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
