Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
