He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
