The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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