you have to choose: penises or morals?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
