Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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