He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
