It's Friday. Sex?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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