"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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