Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
