I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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