Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
