She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
