i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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