chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
