I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
