How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
