There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
