windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
