You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
