so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
