I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
