i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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