so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
