So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
this just has baby written all over it
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
