are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
