Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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