they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
