Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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