My sheets look like a crime scene.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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