Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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