you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
