It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
