Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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