In America we eat man semen.
Four minutes until I can fart!
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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