i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize